1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize