ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
