idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
These tits shall not be calmed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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