i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
