is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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