So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
