like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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