grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
