I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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