just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i've created a new STD.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
