Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
