As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
