I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
