Do you still have your period?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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