Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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