Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
