careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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