SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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