I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
