just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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