I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
