The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
