Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
