If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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