elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
