I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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