You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
