Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
