I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
