have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
