try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
