Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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