You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
