I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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