i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
