i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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