Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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