Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
