I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
