I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's official drugs can't kill me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
