i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
