I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
