"it" just moved
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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