Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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