i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
