Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize