he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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