the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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