Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
