party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
