I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
