It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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