After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
