she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
