Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize