I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
