if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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