Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
