I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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