AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
