help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize