I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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