Im at strip club and am horny
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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