Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
