Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize